Our Fun Christmas Day

We had such a fun day yesterday. We started out the day making my niece Mollie a tutu for her Christmas present. It turned out so cute!

Then we moved on to candy. This is the first year Emory has been old enough to help me make our traditional Christmas candy. We make a batch each year for Jody's 103 year old great-grandmother who loves it, and then divy out the rest. We had a lot of giggles as we poured and measured and snuck m&M's out of the recipe! We also danced around to Jim Brickman's Peace cd.

After the candy making and a nap for Miss Em, we got dressed (in lots of layers...it was cold!) to go walk around the park here that has a lot of Christmas lights. Even though it was super cold, we had a great time.

Then we took our Christmas candy to Grandmother Sallie. Emory was very proud to get to hand her the candy bag. She calls Grandmother "Granbury Sallie"......cute.

To top off the evening we ate at one of our favorite hamburger places and ran into some of our favorite people....so we joined the Webbs for dinner.

Christmas Church Service

This past Sunday was our Church Christmas service. It was so neat to have all of our Church members in one assembly. Here is Little Em in her Christmas dress.

So I don't think I am going to get my Christmas cards out this year. This is the picture we were going to use. So just sit back, pretend you went to your mailbox and saw the coolest envelope ever, tore it open and saw the three of us with a sweet note saying "Merry Christmas". Love to All!

Last weekend, we had our Church class party. The annual Chili cook-off was a lot of fun this year! Emory is at such a great age. This year she couldn't wait to sit in Santa's lap...in fact she kept saying,"I think it's my turn now" . When it finally was her turn she ran up to him and jumped up on his lap. They had a long conversation, so when she got done, I asked her what he had said. She said,"Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas" (which for some reason cracked me up. Then I asked her what she asked for (stickers of course).....when Santa asked her if there was anything else she wanted she simply and sweetly said,"No, just stickers". Oh that sweet child. She was super excited when the gift her gave her ended up being stickers and she still has them all over her bed stuck to the headboard and calls them her Santa stickers. In one of the pics above, look closely, she is holding his hand. Too sweet! Much better than the screaming session she had at Santa last year. What a difference a year makes.

Mollie and Em

This is my sweet niece Ms. Mollie. She and Emory had a great time over Thanksgiving "riding horsie....aka...Mollie" outside. Aunt Kristin also took turns spinning the girls around really hard and then setting them down on the ground. The first time she did it to Em, she let her go and she fell flat on her face.....didn't even catch herself with her arms. It was hilarious. Emory came up laughing too. I would stand her back up each time and she would try to walk only to sway back and forth and fall sideways on the ground. Okay, okay, I am not that cruel....after the first two times I started catching her before she hit the ground. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Christmas Tree

It's been 5 years since I have put up a Christmas tree at our house. There are many various reasons why our house has not had one for a while, but we won't go there for now. So, I decided this year that Emory would need a tree in her house. I was so excited to find a smaller, skinnier Christmas tree for our home since our living room is not very large. (I got a great deal 50 percent off)....

Anyway, we had a fun day going to pick it out and then Emory got to choose her stocking. This is a pick of what she choose.....a sweet puppy of course!

Another Use for Duct Tape

So for those of you that don't know little Em has been potty training for the last 4 months. She is to the point where she only needs a diaper during her nap and at night. The problem is, she likes to take her diaper off and smear her poop everywhere. Yep, it's a lot fun for me to clean up. Here is a pic of when she did it in her old bed one of many times:

So, I have asked advice and thought that I had tried everything. Keep in mind this has happened NUMEROUS times. So this past week, I wasn't feeling well so I decided to lay down for a nap when Em layed down. Her Dad had come home during this time for a few minutes. After I woke up, I went in to get her and noticed this:

Her Daddy outsmarted me again. He went in to check on her and found poop in her big girl bed.....so he cleaned it up (for the first time....which made him realize how bad it's been) and managed to duct tape her diaper to her. Hey whatever works!
And yes, I have been doing it ever since. She even says,"Oh, I like this tape".

The Story of Today November 14th

To Tate: The Story of Today

November Fourteenth....this day will forever be significant in our hearts. On this day 4 years ago you passed away from this life to enter into your new life with our Lord. One of the things I fear the most is forgetting the details of your short life with us. I panic often when I can't remember something specifically....and I am heartbroken when I can't remember the sound of your cry. So, in effort to honor you today and to have the story of today forever written for myself.......today, I will tell your story of your last day with us.

You had to go back into the hospital for your second stage of the Norwood procedures because of the drop in your sat levels and your little fingers and toes were turning blue...which is a major sign of lack of circulation. We took you back into Cooks exactly two months to the day that we got to bring you home. I will post another time on what life was like at home for those two months (Thank You Lord).

I remember taking you in to prep for surgery. One of the nurses wanted to hold you to do a few things....as soon as you left my arms, you started crying loudly. She continued to hold you and after I realized there was not a reason for her to hold you, I insisted that she give you back.....I mean really.....they were about to take you into surgery and I wanted as much holding time as possible. So I got you back and you immediatly fell asleep in my arms. So peaceful.

The memory I have of giving you over to the nurses to take you back to surgery is such a bad one. I knew in my heart that I would never hold you again. I had an overwhelming feeling that you would not survive this next surgery. It was not a lack of faith.....I can't describe it, I just knew. As she took you out of my arms, you looked at me and started screaming for me and I wanted so much to grab you and run as fast as I could and get out of that place. To save you from what you were facing. But to do that would not have given you the chance that we wanted you to have. So, I let you go my son.....to never again hold you while you were sleeping, or calm you from crying, or see true life in your eyes. This moment still keeps me up at night many nights....I have to cry out to the Lord to take this away so I can rest.

We met with Dr. T after the surgery and he seemed to think things went really well. And they did. We were able to go back and see you and a few hours later you woke up a little and looked around. It is the last time we saw your sweet eyes open and the last time you responded to us.

That night, you made a turn for the worse. There was a step Dr. T. took in the surgery (I don't want to go into detail here) that ended up being what made you so sick. It was something he and we didn't realize would happen, but at the point he knew what to do, he opened you back up to fix it. It was too late. Your body had been flooded and re-routed in a way that you could not recover from. Of course, this wouldn't be known until a few days past.

Unfortunatly, you never got better after this surgery. In fact you continued to get worse and worse every day. There were many issues that this surgery brought up including your kidneys failing and having to put you on dialysis. They put you on dialysis in an effort to pull the fluid off of you that continued to collect all over your body. Your body swelled up to twice the size, which was super hard for us to watch happen again....thankfully, they kept you comfortable and in a sweet sleep the whole time.

I remember reading a sweet Bibles for Mom's and Boys that your Grandma gave to me when you were born. We read that whole thing (it was super thick) every single day. The nurses allowed me to do some things to help you like changing your diapers (which were dry since your kidneys were failing), wash your body, put lotion on you, do some PT and OT I was trained to do, brush your hair...etc. Which was super sweet, but again, I just wanted to grab you up and run away....for things to go back to the way they were for the 2 months at home.

Two weeks after your surgery, one of my favorite Doctors sat me down to make sure I knew that you were slowly dieing. It was such a shocking conversation. I mean, hadn't we been here before? And you recovered and we took you home. Not this time, she explained the reason the dialysis wasn't working and that three clots had formed in your heart that could kill you at any time. It was a hard reality to face. I just remember being so heartbroken and angry.

For the next two weeks, you did just that....you died slowly....your body shutting your systems down. On Nov. 14th Jody and I went to Church that morning to be lifted up before coming to spend the day with you. During Church we got the call that they were taking you to have another heart cath to see if there was anything they could do. We left Church immediatly, stopped to change clothes and were on our way.

We got to Cooks and rounded the corner to see your bed, fully expecting that you would be back from the heart cath. But, you were not. Instead we were met by Floyd (one of your fav. nurses and ours too) who took us to a private family room. He explained that you had been coding for 45 minutes and they couldn't get you back. He wanted to know if we wanted to go to the cath lab to see you. Of course we were in shock and waited for a few minutes. In this time, we prayed and we felt that we needed to have them stop all efforts.....with the lack of oxygen for 45 minutes or more, we knew brain damage could be significant. We knew you would never be our sweet Tate again. I left the room to find Floyd to tell him to stop. Jody joined me and we went with Floyd to the cath lab.

You came back. God's blessing for a sweet good-bye. We got to the lab and Dr. A. said, I don't know what ya'll did, but he is back. We knew it was a blessing. We kissed your head (You were not awake, just breathing with a heart beat) and had to leave so they could finish. On our way out Dr. T. showed us the clots in your heart and told us there was no hope for an operation to remove them. You would not survive another operation.

We left the lab,and went to share the news with our family and friends. You got to come back to the CVICU and we didn't leave your side. Your numbers and stats were not good at all and Ed told us that you soon would be coding again and they would need to start CPR again.

Honey, we knew, we knew that you had come back to let us say goodbye. We knew that this was your day to go back to God. It was so clear. The decision was so clear. Which is what we had prayed all along....that each decision would be clear. We told them we didn't want them to do anything any longer.....they knew it would be your time too.

We went out and shared with our families so they could come say goodbye...and they did. Then Jody and I sat with you. They let me hold you for the last time. I hadn't held you for the last month you had been in. The last time I held you was when I gave you over to them for surgery. It was so hard. You were still hooked up to everything and I begged in my heart and head that I could see your eyes one more time, but that didn't happen. You were too sick.

Quickly, your heartrate starting falling and all of your stats started going down. It would have been the time that they would have done CPR on you again, so we knew what was coming. Ed asked me if I wanted to hold you while you died....and sadly I couldn't. I needed you to be on your bed, comfortable. I didn't think I could live with the fact that you died in my arms. Something I regret now. We placed you back on the bed and they began to pull all you lines and oxygen off. The last machine was the one that was keeping you alive, keeping your heartbeat (5 beats per minute at this point) going. I remember placing my hand on your heart while they un-plugged you and I felt with my hand the last beat of your heart. And that was it. Off you went, back to God. I searched to be happy in that fact, but sorrow was so overwhelming.

Dad and I stayed with you for a little while and then went to go tell everyone waiting that you were gone. I remember walking into the waiting room with the people we love and the look of desperation on everyone's face. I simply said,"He's gone" and collapsed into someone ( I can't remember who) with hysterical sobing. I don't remember what transpired after that for a little time. I do remember pulling myself together enough to call Natalie....I for some reason, just had to tell her myself. She is the only person I called.

Ed had mentioned that they would work hard cleaning you up so we could come back in for a little while. We waited for what seemed like hours, (it wasn't) and then he came to get us.I was so overwhelmed I remember when he came to get us that he had previously asked for some clothes to put you in.....I had nothing but a white onesie that I thought would be too small. When Ed came to get us he said he had found something for you to wear and I remember saying, "He better look cute." I still find it odd that I said that. Where did that come from???? Crazy town I guess.

We all came in as a family to see you once again. Ed had put a cute dark blue jogging suit on you that was perfect. It had a football on the shirt and said "VICTORY" in huge letters. Yes, God, I got it. I saw that little message. One regret is that I didn't get that outfit. I don't know what happened to it, but I sure wish I had it. I would pay a LOT of money for it. I guess they took it off of you when they came to get your body.

At one point, one of your line spots started bleeding, I remember being heartbroken because I went to get a cotton swab and bandaid out of the chest that held all the things that I used to take care of you (it is the station chest) and it was gone. They had moved it out of the way, because you wouldn't need it anymore. Funny what hurts during a time like this. I remember being so hurt that that silly chest wasn't there for me to get a cotton swab out of. I wanted so much to still be able to take care of you. Ed came and helped take care of your little blood that was dripping. We stayed for a while and said our goodbyes, collected our things and left.

We left.

We left you there.

It still haunts me. It keeps me up at night sometimes that we had to leave you. The thoughts of what happened to your body after that are horrifying to me and I know the devil uses them to destroy me sometimes. I cry out to God to take those away and to send peace instead. I can't even fathom your sweet body that was once in my tummy, being in a stupid black body bag. No one should have to deal with these thoughts. I hate that.

On to better memories, some sweet women had gathered at your Ninny's house with food and drinks and provided us a place to all go as family and friends to be together for the rest of the evening. Your Daddy and I handled the dissapointment and sorrow rather well....due to pray cover I am certain.

That evening I remember going home and knowing that you would never come home with us again. That your room would never be your room again. That night I dreamt that I heard you crying, I jumped up and was out of my bedroom door before I could stop myself. Reality hit that I had gotten up to take care of you and you were not there. This would be something that happened for months and months after you passed away. Heartache each time.

What transpired over the next couple of days and your life celebration service are topics for another time. I will say no one should have to choose a casket for your baby. Even after you passed from this life, you continued to touch people....even in your life celebration service. Again, a topic for another day.

Sweet Tater Tot, oh how we miss you. It is hard to carry the loss of you around each day, but I know we are stronger for it. You will never be replaced and I am honored that God sent YOU to us. No-one else could have loved you more.

Missing you today .....and everyday.....and every second. I love you my sweet son.

Weekend Get-Away

Jody and I escaped for a wonderful weekend together in east Texas. We have a cabin available to us there and we try to go at least twice a year. This is such a great time of year to go to see the leaves changing. The drive is just beautiful.

We took advantage of all the fun things they have to do at the resort. Jody skunked me in archery ( I wonder why?), mini-golf (ok, maybe he didn't SKUNK me at that one) and air hockey.....but I got my revenge when I beat him 3 times in a row at ping pong. Nope, I'm not competitive at all. We had a blast playing around like kids.

We also found some gorgeous hiking trails this time. One of them has two waterfalls along the trail. We choose the larger waterfall to go back to and we shared the Lord's supper and some scripture together on Sunday morning. Time in prayer in nature is hard to describe.

What a blessing to get away and re-charge together. I am so thankful for this wonderful weekend. A special thank you to Emory's grandparents for loving on her while Jody and I were loving on each other. You are such blessings to us!

1-800-POISON1

So the number above is for poison control. Just in case you ever go to put a load of laundry on and come back to your 2 1/2 year old holding your bottle of allergy medicine with a chalking film all over her mouth......yes, it happened.

For some lovely reason this medication (off-brand claritin) comes in a bottle that is not child proof. We normally keep all our medications very high in a cabinet, but we had been gone all weekend and I got them out of the bag last night so Jody wouldn't have to hunt for them in the morning. My mistake was leaving it on the table in Em's reach. Of course the 7 other bottles that were on the table were child proof, but she didn't get those.

Anyway, thank you LORD that she was not in any danger with the amount of pills she took (I estimate 5). And, thank you LORD that I caught it less than a minute after it happened. If it ever happens to you, call poison control first....it's what your Dr. will tell you to do. And my advice for everything....don't panic until panic is necessary. smile......Just remember I am still learning.....

Happy???? HalloWHINEY!!!

We wanted to do something fun and different this year for Emory's 3rd Halloween. We had heard a local Church holds a really great Halloween festival with jump houses, dinner for families, games and lots of fun.....so, we thought that would be great!

Emory was a ladybug this year. She really enjoyed being outside floating around in her costume. She looked so sweet!

We recently changed Em over to a big girl bed and therefore she is no longer taking her 2-3 hour naps each day. Instead she gets out of her bed and plays....and then gets really cranky around 5-6 o-clock. It makes dinner time really fun...haha. Anyway, she had not had a nap for several days in a row. This is an important piece of the story.

So Em and I set off for the Church. We were warned when we got there, that it was not what they usually had and was not really all that great. But, you know me...I will give anything a chance. I decided to go ahead anyway! It was a little dissapointing. There were no bouncy houses, dinner for families, run -around room for kids....it was just a hallway.....with a LONG line of families with thier children. Keep in mind it was really hot....Texas hot, and they didn't have the air on since all the doors were open. So you can picture a hallway full of adults with children in hot costumes with no air......great combo. They had 10 stations that you could play a game (all in the hallway) We made it to 3 of them in 30 minutes....you had to just move through the continuos line...then Jody showed up. He immediatly said, " How long have you been waiting for this one?" 10 minutes to pull a lollipop out of a tree.....did I mention it was HOT? So, we decided it wasn't working for us and left. I felt so bad for all the effort this Church had put into making all the fun games.....and then for it to be so hot and the line so long....I know that must have been frustrating for them as well.

So we left there and took no nap Em to Grandma and Pepaw's house (my parents) where she continued with her melt down....and got so bad that we couldn't take her to Mamaw and Pawpaw's house. We brought her home and put her in bed super early.....not quite the halloween we were hoping for.

Big Girl Room

This week we transitioned Emory into her new big girl room. We had been waiting on the bed I ordered to come in (over 2 months.....) so, we were glad to finally get to start on her new room. My Mom and Dad came over to help me move out the old and move in the new. They are such a great help to me.

I will say there are several emotions tied up in changing over rooms. That room has been a "baby" room for over 5 years now....so to see it change and no we won't ever have another baby room again is a little sad, but exciting at the same time.

Emory LOVEs her new bed. This is a pic of her jumping around and yelling "my big girl bed" over and over. She did great the first night, now let's see how the weekend goes!

This Week from Work

Here are a couple of my favorite things I made this week for Sugar Britches.....

Grandparents

We had my parents over for dinner this week just to catch up and to spend some time together. We so enjoy them being in the same town. I love that Emory loves to go to her grandparents house (she asks every day!). Here is a sweet picture of Em snuggling with Dad.

Baby Love

Emory and I were so blessed this week to get to play half a day with one of our favorite babies....Baby Will. I am always amazed how sweet Emory is with the little ones. She loves on them, holds them (with my help of course) and LOVES to read to them. She, however, doesn't like it when they cry! Me neither! No sad babies around here. Will was the perfect baby and had lots of fun with my little one. I am so thankful for them time I was able to spend one on one with him! Thanks Aunt Sarah!

Circus Smircus

Sweet Granpa provided tickets to the Circus for me, Jody and little Em. With much anticipation, the Circus daily finally arrived. We started off the morning with our Saturday Cinnamon Rolls and dressed in our cutest outfits (Emory's new Halloween shirt) and off we went.

I should stop here and say that little Em started to come down with allergies yesterday and this morning the best of it hit. We were so sad, because she was not her normal self and we don't feel like she really got to enjoy the circus (her first circus).

Jody gave her a ride on his shoulders from the parking lot. You can see she held on to his head between her two sippy cups....

We saw many crazy and amazing things during the first half. This is the face Em made the whole time.....yep, she is sick. Poor baby. Why does it always happen when we are going to do something fun and out of the ordinary? Ug!

She did clap a few times and ask to see the elephants again. I jumped at the chance to take her on an elephant ride....I think I enjoyed it more than her! And then, we left. We decided to leave when she laid her head on our shoulders and asked to go home......so we missed the second half. Oh well.

We did fulfill her request for fries and a cheesy burger on the way home by stopping in at Kincaids (yummy). She began to feel much better after we ate and on the way home, right now she is sleeping (going on 3 hours....yep she definatly doesn't feel good! Silly allergies!).

Hopefully next year, she can really enjoy the Circus all the more.

Canton

Finally.....our much needed girl weekend arrived last weekend. We have been planning this for over a year! I have much to write about, so I will come back a little later to finish this post.

Paw Fever

I have had a few friends encourage me to post some of the new makings from my embroidery business. So here I go. This is one of my favorites from this past week of working. It is a shirt with the name on the front and the little bear paw on the back bottom left of the shirt. It is for a client's little girl and her friends that are on the Bear Cats team. I LOVE my job!

God's Latest Creation

In Bible Class one of Emory's favorite songs is about creation...day one..day two...etc.

Here is a conversations she had with Jody this week:

"Daddy, you know what God created yesterday?"
"What?"
"Hairclips"

Granpa Joe or Granpa Gorilla?

Emory's great-granpa Joe was in town for a couple of weeks after escaping Hurrican Ike. They had to evacuate so they came up to live with Mike and Marsha for a couple of weeks. We had several opportunities to spend some time with them. My favorite.....Gorilla time.

Granpa Joe kept Emory entertained with "Granpa Gorilla" during lunch at Jalepeno Tree and then again one night while watching the Cowboy game. He makes a great Monkey face (as seen above), then beats his chest and flails his arms like a gorilla. Emory in turn had to give him her rendition of "Monkey Face".....and then tried to make Granpa (Mike) join in on the fun. Yes, you missed out.

That evening as we were heading home, Jody turned on the Cowboy game and then quickly turned it off when he realized what was going on......sweet little Em was singing her Bible songs in a soft sweet whisper....we listened to our own concert all the way home......My favorite "Oh How I love Jesus"...makes me cry with her sweet little voice. Anyway, her concerts are much better than a game any day.....and you know I like games!

Park Fun

We had such a great time yesterday. We shared some park time with our sweet friends Reed, Hudson and Aunt Heather. Reed and Em enjoyed having the park to themselves and really LOVED the swings. It was so fun to sit back and watch them enjoy each other. Reed was acting like a big brother trying to aggrivate Emory a little and boy did it work! He would sit on the slides and wait until she told him to go about 50 times....then slide down....man, I remember my brother doing things like that to me!!!! What can I say, they are like brother and sister in many ways.

I will say the break at the park was so much fun. It was one of those times when I really was thankful that I get to stay at home with Emory and do fun things during the day like this. I am committed to doing them much more often now that the weather is getting a little cooler.

Thank you Lord for my sweet baby girl and her buddies.

Prayer

I heard Em today in the backseat talking about random things. She is always talking or singing a song. I caught a precious moment.....a prayer:
Dear God, thank you for Grae's toys, toys, dinosaurs, Christpray (means in Christ name)Amen.

We had another funny moment today. We were in a store and she pointed to a lady and said,"What's her name?" I replied, "I don't know." To which she said, "Let's smell her." I said, "What?" She said, "Let's see what she smells like."

Where do they get this stuff? Too cute!

Missing YOU terribly!

Oh sweet Tater Tot, sometimes it is so hard to blog about all the fun things we have going, because no matter how fun they are, there is ALWAYS a part missing. Sometimes it causes me to be a little sick at my stomach and other times, it just causes me to be thankful I had you for the short while you visited us. I guess I have decided that I want you to be a part of my blog as well....so in the future when I print these out, you will have your spot in there too.

I do hate searching for good pictures of you, because I have so few of your short time here, that when I get to the end I am always dissapointed I don't have more.....

The memory that is filling my mind lately, is you laughing without sound. It was so awesome. You would kick your head back and open your mouth really big....but nothing would come out. Some thought it was because you couldn't make noises, but oh, you could definatly cry and make sweet sounds too.....I think your laugh was on hold for a little while.....I would pay lots of money to hear what your laugh would have sounded like......but, I guess I will just have to wait until I see you again.

Just Runnin' Around

I have noticed a pattern....Emory loves to run in circles......yes, literally...sometimes she will do this for 20 minutes or more, singing or talking the whole time. She does like to run in other directions too. She definately helps me get some extra running in at night when we are playing together in the backyard.

We went to a birthday party the other day and I noticed she didn't hang around any of the other kids.....guess what she wanted to do? She ran "around" the party the entire time we were there, except when she ate pizza.

We were at our youth minister's house the other day and Emory was running in circles in their backyard when his wife looked at me and said, "Is she always full of this much energy?" I laughed and tried to explain, but the overall answer is yes. I am glad God made her with way more energy than me......maybe she won't have to take naps every Sunday like her Momma!

A Date With The Ducks

My sweet friend Echo asked Em and us to come along on a date with the ducks. There is a resteraunt here that has lots of ducks that hang around hoping people with sympathize with them and feed them the rest of their hamburgers. We took the girls the other day when we had perfect weather and let them feed the ducks. The funny thing is, we couldn't get our own daughters to stop eating the bread! It was almost as if they had never had bread before.

We fed the ducks from the picnic table and then moved out to the dock, where we saw a few catfish steal the bread away from the ducks. It was such a simple outing, free, and fun.....which is exactly what I am about....trying to lead a simple life in a fast pace world.

Thank you Lord for the time I have with Emory and my sweet friends. Thank you for your creations.....even the afro duck.